Tuesday 21 November 2017

de Boer, Shakespeare, Koeman, Bilic, Pulis ........ and Page??

Five top flight managers have bitten the dust already this season, and Ladbrokes now make Kenilworth A supremo Mark Page hot favourite to be next. Another shocking home defeat has led to calls for his head from the irate fans (Bernard and Doris Bonkers), and despite a vote of confidence from the club's Executive Committee (comprising the Secretary, Treasurer and Coventry League Captain), Page looks like a dead man walking, as his expensively assembled squad (combined cost £0) stumbles and bumbles it's way towards the relegation zone.

A 3-1 home defeat to Solihull A last night had the crowd (officially recorded at zero) streaming towards the exits long before the final whistle, and the place that they once called Fortress Abbey now offers easy pickings to any visiting team. The manager has clearly lost the dressing room, and could be seen berating club stalwart Carl Pickering after a rather turgid draw (correction the most turgid draw ever) on bottom board against Neil Clark. (It's games like this that will give the Exchange French a bad name if it's not careful.) But this game was a model of accuracy compared to the rest of the match!

And the criticism came back to bite Page in the posterior in no uncertain terms, as he played a disastrous game against Nigel Towers and got his Queen trapped on a2 after grabbing a pawn that was so hot it burned his hand when he captured it. Too punch drunk to resign, and foolishly thinking the match might yet depend on him, a glassy-eyed Page played on for another 30+ moves a queen for a rook down, before succumbing to the inevitable defeat. "Do I not like that," was all the comment he could muster post-game.

Veteran striker Andy Baruch showed tantalising glimpses of his former prowess on his return to the team after an extended stay on the sidelines, but despite pressing for most of the game against Tom Thorpe on board one, his lack of match fitness told and he was eventually relieved to agree to a draw in a slightly worse position in a same coloured bishops ending.

Which left mercurial talent Andrew Paterson to try and rescue the match against evergreen Ray Carpenter on Board 2. The opening was absurd, but for once it wasn't Andrew's fault. Ray's first few moves were b6, Bb7, d6, e6, c6, Be7, g5 and h5. Our man tried to respond in classical style, but couldn't resist trying to find an immediate refutation of the Black set-up. A White bishop was hanging on g6 for many moves and it got so complex it made my head ache. Every time I looked at the board, Black seemed to have more material than White, but maybe I was mis-counting. Because soon I heard Ray offer a draw, only to be met by the response, "I'd like to play on a bit." One move later Andrew resigned. Yes the draw offer and rejection had both been made in a totally won position for Ray. Payback time for the fortunate declined draw in last season's KO Cup Final Board 1 encounter between Paul and Phil Holt?

An ashen faced Page has come out fighting today, telling the media that he expects to be in charge for the rest of the season, and is hoping to free up funds for some wheeling and dealing in the January transfer window. Page may have to sell before he can buy, though, and with the latest valuation of his entire squad coming in at £0, he has little wriggle room. His best hope seems to be to pick up a free transfer or two, while there are even rumours of a shock swoop to bring retired Kenilworth giant (and still quite a big chap) Bernard Rogers back to the club. Though surely things can't be that desperate??

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